SPEECHLESS

PAKCIK said it's a miracle if i say i'm speechless as for him, i speak as much as i breath.

DAMN. He is so true. Why does he need to understand me too much?

Btw, that is not why i am speechless. A month ago, i made a little plan for my birthday celebration, mainly a fine dinner and a karaoke session with my friends and a little time with my annoying boyfriend. maybe movie. As usual, i plan early due to my freak nature of getting obsessed to plan things waaayyyyy tooo ahead.

Three weeks ago, my GPK Ko-kurikulum came to see me and told me that i will be one of the facilitator at the camp, which put me to the utmost feeling of surprise. I asked her when is the camp and she gave me that killing answer, "3 sampai 5 Julai lah."

my heartbeat became faster. The last time my birthday fall on a weekend was when i was in high school, i think. Wutever, ok.. but my point is, i cannot take it when my birthday is being spoilt, especially with things like being a facilitator in some camp and being trapped there for over nights. There goes my birthday plans, right??

I truly was speechless.

then, 2 weeks ago, i bumped into an old friend at KLCC. I was there to watch TRANSFORMERS with PAKCIK. We had a brief conversation, and then she told me this one big news about another friend. This friend of mine was a competition in many ways, and then now she is married to someone whom i secretly adored years back. How on earth could this happen?? Not that I am jealous as i am no longer 'secretly adore' that particular guy. But hey, I met him first. I noticed him when she didn't even bother about him or any other guys. From wut i heard, they became close last year in October and now they are married. Wut a 'fair' life, kan.

Again, I was speechless.

If you have read my previous entry, you might know the sory about how UM has been cancelling and postponing things due to H1N1 thingy. That, personally, upsets me too. but i rather not talk about it again as i am now trying so hard to pull my strength together to go for the registration tomorrow at 3pm. It had been killing me to wait for that date, now it's tomorrow. I am still nervous to get back to 'school' and becoming student again. I am not sure i can do it or not. there are some of my batch who are already and going to further study to get their masters. But to tell the truth, them, i wont be surprise. they are all geniuses, bright students, extremely intelligent and many more. On the contrary, I am such an average student, not brilliant at all, not a straight A student, seriously, if u go to the same school with me, u will know how 'average' i am. In some ways, it got me demotivated, knowing that I am just the plain 'bunga tahi ayam' among all the beautful roses.

I am speechless, and demotivated.

And now i am having flu, coughing like nobody's business, sore throat and pain all over my body. How am i supposed to go through the spoilt weekend like this?? With the registration in Um tomorrow, camping the whole weekend @ Genting Valley (name bukan main sedap je, tp entah ape rupe tempat tu, no one knows.) and many more..

God, please lend me a piece of your strength, just for this one weekend.