DILEMMA

My laptop is an old but useful creature. It has been serving me for the past 5 years. Under my supervision, it has gone through so many difficulties and challenges. For example, it once struggled itself to stay awake for days just because I wanted to finish up my 10,000 words of dissertation and other assignments. When I had to travel back to Malaysia from England, I put it in my main luggage because I could not bare with its heavy weight. It sacrificed itself to be placed inside there for hours and being thrown here and there.

Some difficult times, I got into very angry mood and I threw it away from the study table. It could crash on the floor, but a wire pulled it through that prevented it from falling into pieces. The wire was broken, of course. Once I was being a little careless, I sat on the lid. It’s broken too. The keyboard was broken too, some letters were not functioning anymore, so it is now replaced by a mini external keyboard. The laptop was installed with small memory, so it filled very easily. I had to reformat the laptop very often. Because of that too, the laptop became so bloodily slow and sometimes I just couldn’t take it.

i know most people believe that laptop is created so that you don't have to carry big computer everywhere. But my laptop is just like a computer. It is so heavy and due to its poor condition, i dare not carry it everywhere or else i might lose more screws and break more parts. It has become as fragile as a glass.

In conclusion, the laptop is now not in good shape, physically and also ‘mentally’, but it is a hell of a good investment. Like I said, it had served me the best.

So, recently when I enrol in The Faculty of Language and Linguistics in UM, my parents are concerned about how I would do my assignments with such laptop. Dad strongly recommends that I buy a new one so that he can use my old one for his project papers. He said, he will not be needing a brand new laptop for himself because he is very slow in this IT World, so my old laptop would serve him right. Mom said that if I ever has any financial problems to buy a new laptop (especially when she knows I have many commitments likes paying for my own Masters fees (I have to put aside RM400 permonth for this purpose), paying for car, ASB loan, Tabung Haji, allowances for adik-adik and parents and all which total up to almost my one month pay), she offers me her financial help. She even insists on buying me a new laptop and already surveying for one. She said she can use all the monthly gift money that I have given her and dad for the past a year and a half.

BUT, I truly love and appreciate my old laptop. It is such a true friend, and guess what, it is a fly-away gift from my boyfriend. He bought me the laptop just few days before I flew to UK in Valentine’s Day 2005. Since then, it has given me such good memories, filled my time with good things and has always been my closest friend. i think it is not too much if i say that it has given me my life.

Buying a new laptop would mean that I will have to give this gift to my dad. I know how much my parents hate my boyfriend, so it gives me a little thought that actually my parents want me to get rid all of my boyfriend’s stuff. Buying a new laptop also might makes me a selfish and ‘tak mengenang budi’ kind of person. I knew how he struggled to find the laptop when it was Chinese New Year holiday and all computer shops were closed. I know if I buy a new laptop, it would break his heart, even he always says, “It’s ok, b. Go ahead and buy a new one.”

But again, this laptop might not fit to serve me during my Masters period. I will have to do 5 major assignments and also a 30,000 words of thesis. It is just so heavy for it. Despite every single thing it had done for me, I am still not confident of its capability at this time.

I’m torn, truly in a difficult position. Opinions are most welcomed. Help.