YOU SAID.. BUT HE SAID..

You said I am the hottest girl you have ever met.
He said I am beautiful enough to capture his heart.

You said I am the prettiest in a lovely pink dress.
He said I am the prettiest when I’m in sweat after the gym

You said I have the sweetest smile
He said he prefers my loud laugh than my smile

You said I have the sweetest voice
He said I talk too much.

You gave a hug when I was down,
He just held my hands in silence.

You cancelled all appointments to throw a surprise birthday party for me,
He gave a small gift and a little prayer.

You said you will never leave me
He said he will be right next to me

You said you loved me so much.
He said he cared.

You said all the nicest words.
He said the least.
But somehow, he is the one who is still here, when you broke my whole heart into pieces.

THE STORY OF THE NOTEBOOK

It was a story book, so they say. I have definitely heard of the title, but never had I been bothered to read the best-selling novel by Nicholas Sparks called The Notebook.

It was a long time ago.

Until one day, a very boring day, I locked myself in the room doing nothing but surfing the net. There was these quizzes in Facebook that people kept on answering, something like “What kind of men you attracted to” or “What song you are” or “Which celebrity you are” and so on.

So, out of tedium, I answered some of the quizzes. Of course I would not believe any of the things said in the quizzes. Some of the things were true, as in coincidently true. Like the kind of guy I was attracted to was the bad guys, which was true. I always had the urge about some bad boys, but not all kind. Of course I wouldn’t find murderers attractive.

There was another quiz about the things that were always in my handbag. It answered “handphone, tissue, ipod and camera” which were all true. But of course there were other things in my handbags too but my point was, they were relatively true.

I answered a quiz about “WHAT MOVIE YOUR LOVE STORY IS”. The answer given to me was THE NOTEBOOK.

I didn’t know what devil got into me, but I went all over to find the novel. I went all over to find the movie. And finally, I found both after a long search. Seriously, it’s not like I believed every single thing about the quiz. I didn’t believe anything about the quiz at all. I just wanted to fill in my curiosity. I wanted to know what the story was all about. And maybe, I wanted to see if they are coincidentally similar with my love story, again.

But I watched the movie, and I read the novel.

And I heard myself said,

“Shit.”

JUST ONE WORD

I thought I have deleted you from my phonebook.

But why am I still checking my phone every 5 minutes?

I thought I have trashed your pictures into the recycle bin.

But why is it here on my desktop?

I thought you are no longer on every page of my diary.

But do I keep stretching your names on papers?

I thought I have crashed the frame with your picture in it.

But why is it still there on my table?

I thought you are the sweetest man.

But you are the meanest.

I thought you are brave and romantic.

But you are a coward and lame.

I thought you have given me happy memories.

But instead you have given me the worst.

You came into my life with beautiful words.

But you left with killing silence.

You came with such slow emotions,

But you left as quickly as the lightning.

You came in benevolence and kindness.

But you left in cruelty and nastiness.

You put smiles and laughter on my face.

And you also put tears on it.

You made me wanting to see you every single day.

But you made me hate you in just one night.

You made me happy in so many wonderful ways.

And you left me in just one hurtful way.

How I wish that you could just say a word before you left.

Just one word.

To keep me away from wondering.

To keep me away from questioning.

To make me stop waiting.

To make me stop wanting.

I thought I have rejected you from my life.

Why do I keep thinking about you?

Why do you keep coming back?

Why do the memories keep haunting me?

Now that you have left.

Please, I beg of you.

Please, just go on and leave.

Please bring your memories with you.

I need you to go.

Please.