Thursday, October 1, 2009
SOME PEOPLE STILL CARE
It was a moody morning. But I arrived school safely. I went into classes like always, scolded pupils with unfinished homework, pinching some who pulled out their legs under the desk so that other people fell down, laughing with some who helped me with some work, joking around with those who were shy, discussing important things with the committee member of some stupid event.
It was just a normal day.
2pm sharp, I punched my card and made my way. I was heading to UM where I was supposed to meet my friends for a deep discussion. I was smsing with Sudi and someone else, telling them how wonderful my life was. I passed through the toll gate and hit the pedal to move a bit faster.
Then, out of nowhere, a car in front of me seemed a lot nearer than before. I didn’t managed to think, I hit the car anyway.
BOOM!
All of sudden, my mind went blank. It hit my mind that I just had an accident. I asked myself, was it bad? Yes, No. I wanted to look outside but I couldn’t move. I heard people calling.
“Kak, akak ok? Akak turunkan cermin kereta, kak.”
I rolled down the window. That was the only sane thing I managed to do. The guy helped to open the door and switched off the engine.
“Kak, akak ok? Akak berapa orang dalam kereta, kak?”
I didn’t answer at all. I was too blank. I heard the man asked for back-up.
“Minta bantuan, over. Kemalangan di DUKE menghala ke Jalan Duta. Dua kereta terlibat. Satu dah melintang tengah jalan. Hantar back-up lalu lintas dan ambulans, over. ”
“Mangsa dalam keadaan separuh sedar. Terkejut rasanya. Minta bantuan ambulans, over”
I smelled something, I saw smoke from my engine. I wanted to get up and have a look but I just couldn’t.
“Akak, ade sakit kat mana-mana, ke? Akak ok tak?” This time, I nodded.
Then, back-up arrived. Some of them helped with the traffic. Two of them tried to talk to me but I just couldn’t answer. A man reached out for my handphone.
“Kak, ada siapa-siapa akak nak call?” Then, it hit my mind. I snatched my phone and called for PAKCIK.
“I accident. I accident. Tolong I,.”
“U kat mana ni?”
“I kat Duke, I nak pg UM..”
“U tunggu, I pegi sana. ” He hang up.
I saw the environment. Cars were slowing down. Suddenly there were so many people at the area. An ambulans of Pertahanan Awam came. A man asked, “Cik, ok? Kat mana sakit, cik?”
“Takda. Saya tak sakit pun. Saya tunggu kawan.”
The man nodded, but he touched my forehead. It felt swollen.
“Saya cuci luka ni sekejap ye, cik” Then only I knew, I got bruises on my forehead.
“Kami kena hantar cik pergi hospital ye.”
“Nanti dulu, Encik. Saya tunggu kawan. Saya ok, tak perlu pg hospital.” I insisted.
I tried to get up again. This time, I managed, but almost fell down. A man carried me to the ambulans.
I made few phone calls. Firstly to friends who are waiting in UM. Then to someone, then to ayah. The news spread quite quickly. Then, phone calls came in and it never stopped.
PAKCIK arrived. He checked on me first. I said sorry.
My colleague came to the scene once he heard the news. So nice of him to come all the way to help me.
I saw PAKCIK talking with some men. He took pictures. People who were at the scene told him about the incident.
“Kereta depan tu berhenti, dia nak undur. Diorang dah salah jalan. Akak ni datang terus libas lah. Kuat tu terhentak, sampai keluar air-bag tu. Abang bawalah akak ni pegi hospital. Tadi dia terperanjat sangat tu.”
Then, PAKCIK carried me to the car and headed AMPANG PUTERI. Dato’ Dr Jalil was informed and ready to meet me.
At the hospital, Dr Jalil asked for x-ray. He wanted to see if there was something wrong with my left hand. It turned out my hand was still ok. Just severe bruises.
We went straight to the BALAI POLIS JALAN BANDAR, the one which handled all accidents stuff. I reported my incident and gave them my statement. Then, I went to the PEGAWAI PENYIASAT TRAFIK office on the second floor. Here, they investigated about the accident. It turned out, the other driver didn’t give statement that he was reversing the car in the MIDDLE of the highway. So, after careful questioning session, the police decided that the other guy was at the wrong side. He shouldn’t, in fact couldn’t stop or reversing car at that particular place. He had to pay RM300 of fine and the expenses of the damaged would be on his insurance claim.
At night, I went into deep sleep after swallowing pain killers. Around 5.30am, I woke up choking and coughing, and I felt severe pain all around my body.
At 8am, I made a call to school saying that I had 2 days of mc. Apparently, the news had gone horizontal. It was all over in the office.
People at work kept texting me. Some did waste their credit to call me. Some offered their help in any way regarding my students. Oh, god. I didn’t know I had such wonderful people to work with.
The good thing didn’t stop there. Parents of my students kept calling to ask about my condition. Some came to the house to pay for a little visit to my small cottage. The students, God. I raised a good bunch of students. They texted me using their parents’ handphone. Some give me a call hoping that I would get well soon. How wonderful these people are.
I thought I was the fiercest teacher in school. Apparently, I was lovable enough. Now I know, some people still care. THANK YOU GOD, for giving me such wonderful people around me. Thank you so very much.
I am having 2 days of mc. Boring, but I need to use it so that I can be fit enough to meet the students on Monday. I miss a lot of them already.
My car, erm. She was badly crashed. Especially the front side. She was barely alive. Pity her. I don’t wanna talk about her, or I will burst into tears. She will be in the workshop for almost a month, according the tow truck guy. What choice do I have? I will have to get back to olden days’ life. Taxi and foot.
PS: Tuhan, balas lah jasa mereka yg membantuku dalam kesusahan, dengan segala kebaikan yang engkau ada. Amin..
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
MEN: A PERSPECTIVE
Generally, men are great creation of God. Adam was created so that he would be the love of Hawa, be her guardian, be her soulmate, be her protector, be her savior. Men are created strong and powerful, emotionally and physically. That way, men are known as women’s best partner.
I, as a woman, believe so. I believe men are my best partner, in many ways. First, my daddy, a unique and strong man. The most intelligent I’ve ever met. He ensnares women by his sweet talks and caring personality. My mummy, my sister and myself are the usual victims. We love him for that.
My late grandfather was the sweetest man. He had no opportunity to show off his talent, but his smile and care, were the only things we ever wanted from him. He was not a handsome man, but he lures us just with a little smirk. He was so soft-spoken. The way he loves the grandchildren, nothing could have been compared to.
One big similarity between these two heroes of my life is their courage. Their sweat and hard work that they put to raise their family are something people might not be able to evaluate.
But again, having the best men in my life, doesn’t make me the lucky person to get the best man as my partner.
Sad enough?
Once I met a man with his cute face. Intelligent, but a gangster. If he got mad, he threw things. His way got into me. I throw things too, now.
I also met a man who has everything a woman ever wanted. Looks, money, job, romantic. But turned out I was not the ‘everything’ he ever wanted. He dumped me, like he dumped some trash into the dustbin.
Then, I lowered down my search materials. I found someone at middle working class. Someone like me. He was ok, sweet and got into my mind quite some time. But he was married. How cruel is that?
I also met a man who was very manly. He loved me around, but he loved other things better. Football, golf, friends, cars, casinos. Turned out he wanted me just as a decoration rather than a companionship.
I also met some gentlemen, but turned out they are too ‘experienced’, that’s why they are good at wooing girls. Some gentlemen criteria are just inherited. Like my students in school. Some of them are just too gentlemen, like pulling out the chair for me to sit, offering extra hands to help, saying sorry for things they did wrong. Maybe they are just being polite towards the elder, but it’s a good start.
There are some men who look at women as sexual attraction. No offence, but yeah, to own a woman is not just for viewing pleasure. That is why marriage allows something more than just holding hands. But frankly, what do women get in return?
The people I stated above are from all different levels and age. I met so many of then through out, they are just so difficult to understand. I met them at every age, and one thing I find in common is their EGO.
God, whether they are 12, or 20 or 40, their ego is just the same, and frankly, they might not even change at all. Ego in some ways is good, I mean, women wouldn’t want a man who cries over some chick movie, right/ But not too much that might destroy your relationship.
My two heroes, they are included. They are both men of ego. Pretty much to the extent that women of their lives got so sick and heart-broken. I saw their little sadness. Then it hit my mind. Even my two heroes disappoint their women. What more other men?
So, mummy, don’t blame me for making this statement. Not that I don’t love men. I do, but I am so scared of being hurt. I am so scared of being too dependent and too much in love. Like I said, I cannot handle too much love.
(Actually, it’s not men that I’m afraid of. It’s ‘relationship’)
Sunday, September 27, 2009
FUCK YOU
Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor
So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who can't tie my laces
Your point of view is midieval
F*ck you
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch
F*ck you
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch
Do you get
Do you get a little kick of being slow minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval your after
Well that's not how you find it
Do you
Do you really enjoy living a life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where your soul should be
Your losing control of it and it's really distasteful
F*ck you
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch
F*ck you
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate and it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch
Look inside
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired, so sick and tired of all the hatred you harbor
F*ck you
F*ck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch
F*ck you
F*ck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate and it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch
Thursday, September 24, 2009
ABNORMAL RELATIONSHIPS
Relationship 1
But again, try to look at it the positive way. Dah mamat tu berlambak2 sgt duit, tak tau nk spend kat mane dah, rumah berderet2, kereta berlambak2, anak2 n bini hidup senang. So, baik cari pompuan yg perlukan duit (normally budak from kampong yg baru smpi KL n muda2 belaka), bela diorang, bg kemewahan skit. Most of the time, the sugardaddy gets sumthing in return. That one is unjustifiable. It could be lust or love. Sbb sometimes ade sugardaddy yg dah betul2 sayang kat mistress dia, so they kawen lah jugak akhirnyer (which is better lah daripada bermaksiat,
Real-life Example: Aku ade je member yg ade sugardaddy, and ade gak kenalan yg ade mistress. Nk wat mcm mane, tu pilihan diorg. Tapi ade sorg tu, bagus habis. Jage mistress dia giler2. nak kawen tak boleh, bini tak bg. So, simpan jelah wat harta.. (kesian dia, berterusan wat maksiat.. dlm hal ni, saper salah?/ kalau bini tua restu, tak ke kurang dosa??)
Relationship 2
This type of relationship lebih kurang je with the first one. Cume bezanye yg kedua ni more like gf and bf lah, but one of the party dah kawen, or both. Normally diorg ni ex-lovers yg jumpe balik after dah kawen ke, or officemate ke. Relationship mcm ni byk destroy marriage and CAREER. Biasenye diorg get together more because of lust, not many because of love. The wanna hv some kind of adventure in lives. This relationship don’t usually work out, sbb men takut bini, or bini takut suami. Kadang2 ade smpi suami si pompuan pg bunuh lelaki tu. Keluar news wut.
Real Life Example: Adelah sorg member aku yg pernah terjebak sekali. Tp tak sempat wat pe, diorg break up. Good for her lah gak, if not, laki dia dpt tau, mati gaklah dia kot.
Relationship 3
Ni psl jarak umur. Zaman skrg, it’s no biggy, but actually it is for some people, or shud I say, parents. Siti Nurhaliza dgn Dato K tu 20 tahun beza, ramai org kutuk. But look at them, happy je. In fact, Dato’ K has turned to become a better person.
Kalau lelaki yg lebih tua mcm tu, ok je sbnrnyer, except byklah halangan mula2, like parents tak suke lah, org mengate lah. Esp if the man pernah married b4. Org sure mmg akan kutuk punyer, tp mulut org mmg mcm mulut tempayan, tak leh tutup. Kadang2, psl mulut org lah relationship ni tak berjaya. Kesian..
Real Life Example: Adelah sorg member aku ni, bercinta dah dekat 6 tahun dgn mamat yg berbelas tahun lagi tua dari dia. Lelaki tu mmg dah penah kawen lah b4 this. Psl stgh2 pihak, diorg tak kawen lg smpi skrg. Kesian gak kat diorg, tp nk wat mcm mane, jodoh
Relationship 4
Ni psl umur gak, tp pompuan lebih berumur dari lelaki. Selalu berlaku kat sekolah menengah, budak2 lelaki ngorat cikgu2 diorg yg mude2 tu. Adelah gak kuar dlm internet luahan hati perasaan diorg2 nih.Ade gak yg panggil sugarmummy n toyboy relationship. Sometimes, budak2 lelaki ni betul2 syg kat gf diorg yg lagi tua tu. Ade je org lelaki yg go for older women, pd diorg older women more matured.
Real Life Example: Aku ade sorg kenalan yg berada in this situation. Member kau ni mmg lbh tua,dekat 10 tahun kot dr bf dia. tp mamat ni syg habis kat dia. Dah 4 tahun kot diorg. Nk kawen parents lelaki tu x bg. Pompuan tu mmg well-off lah, one of the executive board member in one of the oil company. Kekal lagi smpi skrg. Diorg jumpe mase satu party. Mase tu mamat tu sekolah menengah lagi n member aku dah keje dah. Last aku dgr, lelaki tu nk bw dia pg Thailand kawen kat sane. Doa jelah.. (I like seeing them together though..so cute..)
Relationship 5
Again ni psl pompuan kedua lah. Some pompuan kedua mmg keje dia nk korek harta, nk hidup senang. Some mmg hobi dia nk destroy hidup org, but some, tak plan pun nk terjebak, but sekali tu terjebak. Selalu kes yg last ni ade 2 ending lah. Satu, lelaki tu end up tglkan dia (biaselah men, kan.. konon ‘I tak leh bercerai dng wife I, I saying anak2 i.. bla bla’.. dah syg pg terjebak gak wat pe). Ending kedua, they both really fall in love with each other, pompuan tak kesah jd wife no dua asalkan they live together. Psl wujudnye org2 mcm nilah sum men kawen more than one.
Real Life Example: Aku penah bace satu buku citer ni, mamat tu kawen dgn dia, tgl dia sbb nk balik kepada wife yg pertama, but si dianye tu boleh sabar menunggu dgn anak dlm kandungan sume. And finally, good thing happens to her. Tp tu citerlah, tak taulah ade ke tak dlm dunia ni.. (pd aku, cerita2 drama ni ialah imitation of real life, so it could has happened b4 lah
Relationhip 6
Some people call this an open-relationship. Somethiig like, I dating u, tp I boleh dating org lain jugak. Something like that laa.. Biasenye org yg involve mcm ni ade fikiran terbuka, or maybe diorg got hurt too much by love, so diorg prefer flirt2 je. Syok gak relationship mcm ni. Tp some people got too involve, last2 jatuh cinta dengan serious gak. Mase tu dah payahla, sbb nk break up dgn org2 lain tu mcm mane plak?
Real Life Example: Ade member yg wat keje mcm ni. Dia ni takut nk commit with marriage, so dia prefer seeing people openly. Dia pernah having relationship with 3 men at a time. Sume 3 men tu tau yg dia ni having open-relationship. Tgk life dia simple and happy je. But in long run, byk disadvantage lah
Relationship 7
Real Life Example: Pernah ade member yg ade scandal ngan lecturer dia. Bila member aku nk stop, the lecturer boleh ugut nk bg fail sume paper dia. Tak ke bengang tu. Tu lah ckp, can destroy
Relationship 8
Lelaki tak pe lagi, diorg life starts at 40, tp kalau pompuan, susah skit la. Lelaki ni walaupun diorg umur 40, tp nk cari bini umur 20 gak, tak sedar diri dah tua. Tp tak pe, taste masing2
Real Life Example: Ade sorg kenalan, kawen late 30s. tp alhamdulillah kekal smpi skrg, anak dah dua. Bujang2 dah pun anak dia. Tgk dia pun hidup senang. At this time, dah tka payah nk keje kuat2, sbb dulu mase mude dah kerja kuat. Now dia byk spend time dgn family. Bagus lah
THE ABOVE ENTRY IS WRITTEN UNDER GREAT PRESSURE OF UNFINISHED ASSIGNMENTS, UNDETERMINED RELATIONSHIP, UNACCEPTABLE SCANDALS, UNLIMITED DEBTS BUT LIMITED MONEY IN WALLET, UNEXCITING LIFE, INADEQUATE CARING AND UUDERSTANDING PEOPLE AROUND, INEVITABLE WORKLOAD AND UNSTABLE EMOTIONS. SO, PAHAM2 JELAH EH..
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
I LOVE MY JOB
Who said life as a teacher is boring? It was the greatest one and a half year of my life. Nothing, I really mean nothing can compare such wonderful memories.
Frankly, I didn’t choose to become a teacher. My mum did all the applications and all. But when I entered UTM Semarak and realized that I couldn’t cope with its poor condition, I decided to go for the teacher training program. I didn’t even know that it was a twinning program, I went for it anyway. I guess it was the wisest decision I have ever made.
People said that being a teacher is the easiest job nowadays. Work half day, payment comes in every month, holiday the same with school holiday, no peak hours, no need to face the traffic jam, bla bla bla…But being a teacher is as hard as lawyers, doctors and engineers. Only we are dealing with wonderful kids that make our job a lot more interesting.
Apart from all the experiences I gain through the whole academic years, I admit that I have grown somewhat more mature. Working with kids as my biggest client makes my job even more interesting. Kids, my God, are the greatest, purest creature in the world. Whatever they did wrong, I find it very amusing and entertaining. Of course there are parts when they don’t complete my work, forget to bring the books, do silly spelling mistakes, forget to do corrections and many more. And I have to admit I get angry most of the time, but mostly because I do not want them to make more mistakes. I want them to become perfect and grow up to be a discipline person.
If you ask my students, who is the fiercest teacher in the school, they will answer, “Miss Julia”. But if they fell and bleed their hands, or if they were sick, they will find me instead of their class teacher. There are some other incidents that truly catch my heart.
3 Bestari is my favourite class. I teach them English since last year, so most of them are used to my style and already understand the routines. I never get problems such as students sleeping during my period, students not paying attention, because they always want to pay attention. It sounds corny, but true.
And guess what, these kids are sweet too. They know how much I love earrings (because I always wear fancy earrings to school), so during Teachers’ Day, most of them bought me a pair of cute earrings to add to my collections. When they did something wrong and I got angry, some of them would write a sorry note and put it on my table. Some of them would copy down a recipe of bread pudding because they know I love bread pudding. Some of them would ask their mums to bake extra cake so that they can give me the next day. Isn’t that amazing?
But seriously this ain’t the reason I love my job. I love my job because I learn how to love other people other than my own family. I learn to care about people who have no blood relation with me. I learn to put aside personal things to cater with the needs of people who have no relation with me. I love my job because it gives me great memories each day. I meet interesting people and encounter interesting events each day. I learn new things every day, I improve myself each day and become better person he next day.
If people ask me why did I study abroad just to end up being a teacher, I would slap them and say, ”That shows how difficult it is to become a teacher.”
God, I love my job so much.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
RAYA AND IT'S PREPARATION
This year’s Ramadhan almost reaching the end. But I barely feel the tiredness and the hunger and the thirst. Partly because Kuala Lumpur always gets the rain and rarely gets the sunshine. Another thing is because of the overloading workload and the limited free time. Well, I do get some free time, but I barely enjoy it.
At first, I wanted to do very low-profile shopping on Raya, very ‘sederhana’ kind of preparation. I bought my parents a set of baju kurung and baju melayu each, and also for my sister. I thought of just using my old baju kurung as baju raya. But then, last week Za came over. Za is a friend from IPBA. We were so close during foundation year but I can’t remember why we sort of splitting up. But it was old story. The fact that she came over was good enough.
We spent the weekend with some kind of heavy SHOPPING SPREE. I really mean heavy, literally and metaphorically. There goes my ‘sederhana’ preparation. Ended up spending Rm500 at Jalan TAR only. But not for myself only, mainly for my uncles and aunts and also my parents. We went out from noon till 12 at night almost. What a crazy day. It must be even great if Eqin could join us.
But frankly, these are the kind of things that make me happy. Friends coming over and spend their weekend with me. I’m not from Johor, so when I was posted to Kl, I only have my boyfriend around. Well, I do have some other friends, but hello, how often they wanna meet me? Plus, they are all some kind of engineers and lawyers and doctors who work their ass out, not like me, a ‘cabuk’ teacher ii the middle of the city who work half day, kan (don’t get me wrong, I love my job so much). Not that I am bosan with my bf (well, sometimes I do), but hey, I need girlfriends too,kan?
My school is off on Friday, so I might ponteng my Masters class in UM too and head home on Friday morning. I already prepare myself for the terrible traffic jammed. Something I cant really avoid. I hope my family loves things that I already buy for them, which remind me that I have to get ready RM 1600 for duit raya. HUHU.. (Takpe, sedekah..people will pray for us..)
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILFITRI
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN
Monday, August 3, 2009
REUNION PART II
Fayzan (the husband) asked us to go on with the plan, he would bank in the money. But we were good friends, so we declined the good offer. It was not nice lah..the pact was between us and she had to be around. But our decision made Fayzan caught in between. Who cares, he married her, so he had to face her every day lah kan. Haha..
So, we decided to go on with the get-together (minus the dream dinner). Huda arrived quite late but his annoying brother. Then, we picked us Yuni and Eqin. Too bad there was a ‘reformasi jalanan’ that time, so the traffic was unbearable. Our initial destination was The Curve but we had to turn the car around to KLCC.
Still, we had the best time ever. California Pizza Kitchen was our place to hang out. We talked and laughed and eat like hell. Too bad Sudi was not around. She would be the one who will finish the left-overs, surely. Since she was not there, so we expanded our stomachs. None of us brought sweaters to be brought inside during movie (except for me), we went for pashmina shopping.
We were late for the movie because I left my handphone at the restaurant and we had to go back. We watched The Proposal. Very hilarious!! Extremely funny that we sweat a lot Then, we didn’t need the sweater and pashmina after all.
Yuni went back to her sister’s after that. Then, we sent the wifey (Eqin) to her in-law’s. Huda and me decided to continue enjoying our single lives. We went to uptown, getting some stuff and shoppng for some cheap things, being flirt at. Very nice. We went home at almost 3am, drank our Old Town while watching Shopaholic, then we fell asleep.
But, we woke up at 8am. Marah betol. So, we watch movie, drank Milo and fell asleep again. PAKCIK woke us up to bring us for lunch at Ayam Kampung, Cheras. We met Yuni there and she was like so tergedik2 wanna meet PAKCIK. I knew she kempunan that kerang. Pity her next time I sure will bring her there.
After that filling lunch, we straight away went to Jusco Alpha Angle. We had a little shopping there (little??? Mcm byk je) and helpd PAKCIK in his grocery shopping. Then, we went to Pavillion to watch Setem. Funny stuff again. OK lah for Malaysian Movie. At least no jiwang2 cintan cintun thingy. Pakcik was so nice to bring us there and spending time with us.
Then, the real time came. I hate it. They had to depart, of course. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it. When I went home, Pakcik called and asked if I need a shoulder. I definitely needed that. He had that 6th sense, kan?? Calling me at the right timing, mcm tau2 je aku tgh sedih member2 dah balik. But he was a great guy. He made me laugh again when the girls were not there anymore.











