Today, 14th October, genap 14 days I have lived a life without car. Frankly, it was not that difficult as I am surrounded by many caring and wonderful people.
People say that life must go on, despite all things that have ever happened in your life. I did that. I went on to my normal life, trying to be as normal as I could.
Frankly, it was easy at first. I managed to go back to work after 6 days of sick leave (including weekends). Looking at the school, it curved a bright smile. When I saw the kids, I smiled even broader. People were asking how had I been doing, and I answered “I’m good.” I mean, how else could I answer, right?
i had so many things to do.2 major assignments to be submitted at the end of the week, books mountaining to be marked, nasyid and action song to be practiced in school, presentation to be prepared, wedding Kak Yati to be attended. However busy my life have been, I had faced worse. So, I guess I can survive.
So, I live my life as happy as I can, trying to think that all problems can be solved, all matters are just a challenge n my life.
That’s during the day. I act perfectly normal and okay.
When night comes, my logical thinking sense disappears. It has been 2 weeks that I sleep almost at 2 o’clock in the morning, which is something so not normal to me. I usually will be in bed by 11pm. In addition to that, I will wake up around 4 or 5 am because I hear the sound of tyres stretching or car engine. Sometimes I will wake up in the morning sweating because of a horror dream, and that dream is actually a repetition of what I had gone through during the accident.
I didn’t know if this is what people call as trauma.
It becomes worse after I went to the workshop to see how my car was doing. I almost fainted to see how bad it was. Speechless. I kept saying, “Thank you, God, for giving me another chance to live.”
Mati hidup semula. That’s how I describe myself.
If only people can see right through my heart and understand how I live my life now, despite the picture of my car all over my mind…
(Thank you, God.)
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