If people say that distance is not an excuse for true love, then they are either haven't experience long distance relationships before, or they are simply in denial.
I have had a long distance relationship before. We were apart by sea and lands, by long miles. Malaysia and United Kingdom. But we somehow survived the challenge.
But recently, I forgot how long distance relationship felt like. I forgot how I survived. I forgot how I managed to live my life despite all the challenges. I forgot how internet and phone calls managed to keep us close. I forgot how I woke up at 4 o'çlock in the morning to chat with him while he was working in the office. The 8 hours of difference really was confusing. I forgot how much pound sterling and RM were gone to pay the phone bills. I remembered he paid RM1200 a week for the calls.
I forgot how he woke me up for my classes. I forgot how I put him to sleep every day. I forgot how we tell each others' plans of the day as if we were living just next door. I forgot how I talked to him over the phone more than I talked to my own housemates. I forgot how my friends had to make appointments to see me because I was always on the phone with him. I forgot how he spend some money to fly across the ocean to see me. I forgot how he paid for my flight tickets for me to go back to Malaysia during summer holidays so that we could spend time together.
That was how we survived, through a little bit of sacrifice, throwing money to the phones' companies and flights. We had proven ourselves that miles can be brought together.
But recently, I forgot how they were all done. I can't seem to repeat the same whole thing. Recently, long distance relationship seems so impossible, full of doubts and difficult.
I am not sure if I can handle the pressure. I am not sure if I can try hard enough, and I am not sure how far I can go.
I'm crying over the hardship I haven't even put myself through. How stupid is that? Frankly, I want to work things out. So, God, please lend me a hand.
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